Wednesday, November 11, 2015

The Tale of Jade and the Curse of 3:30am

I almost slept through 3:30am this morning. I was dreaming, though I can’t remember what, when the dream took a sudden dark turn with what sounded like a gun shot that jolted me awake! I lay there for a minute trying to decide if the sound had been real, or just in my dream. Slowly, I realized both the dogs were still happily asleep. Just as I decided it was just a dream, my son knocked on my door and asked what that loud noise was. Hmmm… ok, not a dream.

I told him it was probably nothing, since the dogs couldn’t care less about whatever it was, but he was still freaked out. Maybe it was something outside, still no help. So, I made a patrol of the house. I came into to the lounge to find the cat sitting next to the couch. She looked at me and meowed, which would be normal except she didn’t stand up. Normally when I wander into the lounge at some ungodly time of the night, she gets all excited that she might get a scratch. So I looked beyond her, to where the turtle’s heat lamp was on the floor.

Damn cat.

I got him a new lamp last week because we were going through bulbs faster than… something you go through really fast. I’m tired and my metaphors are suffering for it! I thought maybe the old lamp had a short in it, or something. The only issue is that this new lamp doesn’t have a clamp. The old one clamped onto his box, but this one just rests on the mesh cover.

The cover we put on to discourage the cat from stealing the turtle’s chicken, and using his bark as a litter box!

Damn cat.

Apparently, the mesh is not working. She managed to get caught stealing his chicken because her fat ass knocked the lamp off! At 3:30 in the morning! And yes, all the chicken was gone.

Damn cat.

And then, she had the nerve to follow me back to the bedroom, curl up on my slippers, and go to sleep. Well, yeah, because she had a lovely 3:30am snack!

The night before last, she woke me up running up and down the hall like a herd of wildebeest chasing a lizard. I don’t know if wildebeest actually chase lizards, probably not, but the cat sure does. And she was imitating a whole herd of wildebeest while she did it. Heck, I don’t even know if she was chasing a lizard. I’m sort of giving her the benefit of the doubt here, because if it was for anything less… well, actually I’d probably react the same way. She’s an annoying little beastie, but she’s still my annoying little beastie.

Damn cat. 

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