Mistrust

So the plan for this blog is to update twice a week. I was thinking Wednesday and Sunday. Now, you folks that are more together than I am may notice that I'm updating on Thursday. I was going to write a post yesterday, but I was so tired I could barely function. Oddly, even though I didn't sleep very well last night, and I'm still extremely heart sick over the realizations of last night, I feel like I can muddle through a post if for no other reason than to let some of this crap out.

Tomorrow we're getting the home inspection on the new house! Steve seems confident that it shouldn't be a total loss, so that's something. We've decided to waive a septic inspection, though. The home inspection is $300. A septic inspection is $350 and there's no reason to suspect there is anything wrong with the septic system. It's a gamble, but it's a pretty safe one. With all the other fees and BS that buying a house entails, we really have to be careful how much we're spending. Some of these things have seriously thrown us off balance.

Two steps forward, one step back. At least we're making small progress.

Whanau is a Maori word that means family, as in extended family. Right now, family is a hard concept for me to deal with. It came out last night that there's been quite a bit of deceit and just outright lies being thrown around and it's set me back pretty far. I don't tend to trust people as a general rule, so it hurts all the more deeply when the people I do trust lie to me. I'm sure they have their reasons, but it doesn't make the deceit hurt less. Plus, I'm trying to decide how to move forward. With me, trust is an all or nothing thing. If I can't trust you to tell me what's going on, I can't trust you at all.

Sometimes families are difficult things.