Sunday, September 4, 2016

Scorpions: The continuing reign of terror

Last summer, my parents gifted us with their spa because the water situation in California was getting critical and they couldn't fill it and keep their water consumption reasonable. So we bought a trailer and towed it from California to Texas.

It has saved our bodies several times over the last year. After doing physical labor on the farm, having the ability to soak in a spa with jets made the difference between walking the next day and hobbling around like Gollum if he'd been hit by a truck.

The spa has an integrated cover so it's easy to close it up when it's not in use, and helps to keep most pests out of it. When the lid is closed, there's a bit of a lip that's sealed with a rubber tube. Most bugs come against it and go away. There are two exceptions: fire ants and scorpions.

During the Spring, when we got a lot of rain, there were a few times when fire ants got into the water and decided to live in the pipes. When we turned the jets on, we were assaulted by fire ants. That was interesting, to say the least. We wound up draining the pool to clear the ants out. Now, we control the ants around the spa so we don't get eaten alive while we try to relax.

Scorpions just think it's an awesome place to hide out. When we open the cover, we do a quick check around the edge and take care of any scorpions that are sitting there. Normally there's only one- they're fairly territorial.

Yesterday, when we opened the spa, sure enough, there was a scorpion hanging out on the edge like, "What's up guys? Can I join you?"

Smoosh! Problem solved.

So I opened up the other side, and there was another one! Apparently, he'd seen what happens if you ask to join in, so instead of asking, he just jumped in. Into the spa.

Now you're thinking, "Yeah, so it drowned and you scooped it out. What's your point?" What you're forgetting is that scorpions spawn from all of the evil in the world. When there's negative energy, it condenses into scorpions, and right now, there's a lot of negative energy floating around. That's making the evil spawn ridiculously strong.

The scorpion did a graceful swan dive into the water, gently floated down to the seat, THEN RAN DOWN TO THE BOTTOM AND UNDER THE FILTER INTAKE! IT RAN UNDER WATER!

Steve didn't see it running, he thought the current from the intake sucked it in. He had the net scoop and was trying to flush it out from under the cover, but it wasn't coming out. I unplugged it, thinking that maybe the sucking was making it impossible to move it, and assuming it would've drowned by now. Steve got a screwdriver, and removed the cover, but we still couldn't find the body. When suddenly, RAN ALONG THE BOTTOM!


Just let that sink in for a moment. Scorpions apparently have no problem living under water.


Steve eventually caught it and got rid of it, but there is now a special paranoia for me.

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